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Holy Crap

Boards are in less then a month (June 5th) I'm TERRIFIED. I feel like there's no way I'm going to be ready.  >.< 
Did you (med) people feel this way? 

I have this awful fear that I'm going to get like, a -40 on my COMLEX (I've decided to only take COMLEX step 1 and then go for USMLE + COMLEX step 2, if necessary)

I have this awful vision of winding up working at home depot for the rest of my life.


First things first: I'm an M3!!!!!

Second things second: My birthday is on Monday! (the following is copied from my face book)

Everyone is asking me what I want for my birthday. Quite honestly, I have pretty much anything I could ever be comfortable asking for. I'm happy, healthy, getting an education in something I love and I have a roof over my head and food to eat.

So, I ask you guys to take a moment and a few dollars, or whatever and donate it to the hero initiative by clicking here www.heroinitiative.org/Content.asp You can make it in my name or not, whatever, I don't care. It'd just make me happy if you could help me give back to the people who helped give me such a great childhood :) Come on, it'll take 2 minutes and cost a couple of bucks! (clicking the picture should work to donate too...maybe, we'll see if I did that right)

You know what today is?

Today marks my LAST DAY of lecture based learning. That's right. The END of my Didactic medical education (well, we still get a few lectures here and there, but no more of this lecture lecture lecture crap).

I feel like this is a big deal.


Now: Exams, Boards, Summer, HOSPITAL ROTATIONS!!!!

2 YEARS until I'm "Dr. Katsafanas"

oh hai LJ

So life has been busy/insane/awesome.

I got to go home a few weeks ago for MegaCon, that's my favorite weekend of the entire year, honestly. Following that, my life has been school school school school school, with some board study thrown in. I take my boards the first week in June, I'm quite nervous about it, but this too shall pass (and hopefully, so will I!)

Things with Paul are wonderful. He's the best. We're actually during nutrisystem together right now and it's working great for both of us. The shame of it is that they're currently giving us the run around with our auto deliver order. I'm reasonably sure that my kick-ass lawyer of a boyfriend will take care of it. :)


So. That test didn't go *nearly* as badly as I thought. Now, don't get me wrong, it didn't go particularly WELL but, I'm not getting kicked out of medical school anytime soon. 

Had some company over tonight.  It was really nice, I'm glad everyone came over. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy to have people in my home..

So I'm sitting here at 1:30 am, scanning anatomy notes for tomorrow (because God knows we can't freaking stop for a day) and I get an IM.  I have a ridiculous memory for screennames, so I knew exactly who it was but it's what they had to say that was pretty freakin cool: 

--------------------:constance... fifi... this is -----------.. i just wanted to drop you a quick note to sorta comment on an lj post you made awhile back  BUT it had no comments allowed so im commenting here:
SinginFifi (1:34:19 AM): Hey there :-)
--------------------: you made my schedule for me many many moons ago and you were always kind to me and you made a posi difference in my eary ucf years
--------------------: so there!

So we talked for a while, and my day really go brightened. 

but i just wanted to drop a line  one of the most alienating this about this particular culture (vs. say, my fam in germany) is that there's this social stigma in telling people that they've made a difference in your life. so... i try and deconstruct that disconnect whenever possible.
SinginFifi (2:23:34 AM): thanks...that's really freaking awesome of you
SinginFifi (2:23:48 AM): I'll see what I can do about passing that along. :-)

Sometimes we forget to tell the people in our lives who have made a difference what they mean to us. 
It's something I'll work on. Now...i need to go to bed.........i have class in 5 hours. Oh holy crap. 5 hours. wtf.

Well. I'm guessing everyone fails a test at some point or another. I just tanked (rather impressively might I add-Like "high 40's/low 50's) my anatomy written exam.  the thing is...I'm kind of "OK".  I studied...A LOT, I did my level best.  Despite the fact that I failed, I have little to nothing to be ashamed of.  It's just something I'll have to do better on next time. 

Also: The chances of getting kicked out of medical school for failing an anatomy exam is pretty non existent.  So I can take a little solace in that.

I have the lab exam in one hour and 45 minutes...Hopefully I won't blow at that quite as hard.

I guess this attitude means I'm maturing a little bit. I care about my grades (ALOT) but they do not define me, and they are not always indicative of the level of work I put in. The only thing that pisses me off is that there are people who DIDN'T study who tanked the test as badly as I did (I'm sure very few did WORSE) so basically, I could have...you know...NOT spent 20 hours in the anatomy lab last week and still done the same on the test.  Also, I could have NOT missed that steeler's game. Damnit.

I'm so sick of looking at dead people.

Also: I smell formalin...and i"m nowhere NEAR the lab and I'm not wearing any "lab tainted" clothes....I need help. Either that, or there's a dead body in the coffee shop.

Things that make ya go squee

Alison and I are going to newyork in October. We'll be up there from October 24th till October 27th at like 11am.  Plan accordingly :) 

Speaking of alison, she and nate make me happy. Not that they particularly function as a "unit" it's just that when i normally spend time with them, it's the three of us.  It's kind of like the opposite of the unhappy triad (medial colateral ligiment, Anterior Cruci..crucu...cru... ACL and medial meniscus) . 

They're the kind of friends that make me feel better just for being around them. It's like...they don't even have to DO anything. We could be sitting on the couch going over the adductors of the hip (adductor brevis, adductor longus, adductor magnus (which is innervated by the obturator and the tibial nerve and forms the adductor hiatus), pectineus (which forms the floor of the femoral triangle) and gracilis), and I just feel...not bad.  It's nice to feel not bad...I'm kinda sick of feeling bad. 

Anatomy is kicking my ass, and I'm apparently retarded, but this is a post about happy things. Also. Apparently, carpels are in the foot...I should look into that....

cheesburger macaroni (of the hamburger helper variety) makes me happy.

Going to NYC makes me SO happy (i need to get out of town for a bit...). I was goign over the hand today and chomping on a kit-kat bar...

Fuckin weird. Welcome to medical school I guess.

My house is beautiful (and messy..but again, happy) and that makes me happy

I'm having people over for dinner on monday night after the anatomy exam.  I love having people over, and I love cooking for my friends.

I'm going to take a nap until 2 and then finish my chart of "friends" not like..the nate and alison kind, but the lesser saffernous/surral nerve kind (which run on the lateral side of the leg) 

Holy crap. I know shit.

Also. I'm not sure if I should be impressed or disgusted by the fact that I can eat in the anatomy lab....


well shit.

That wasn't so bad.  I miss the 2 most obvious questions on the test I'm pretty sure...but eh. I got a 70 (or higher) so I'm alright. I think.

Cooking now....and learning the lower limb ::eyes ground meat suspiciously::

...k...maybe just cooking.